m^5

My new fan:

2003-07-23T09:04:31Z

So I put a new ceiling fan in my bedroom. I got the biggest (52"), coolest (brushed stainless steel, white blades, etc..) one I could find. My bedroom is now a giant turbine housing. I don't think you could fit two of these things in here. If I put it in reverse, I feel lighter, that's how massive this thing is. I just have to be careful now. No jumping jacks in here, unless I need to make some finger confetti, ya know?

Rawk.

Abandoned Journal...

2003-07-20T10:56:34Z

There are MANY more things that one can be upset about than a neglected diary...

right?

Umm...

2003-01-14T11:02:05Z

Is this thing on?

"Testes, testes... One, two?"

"Huhhuhuhhuh"

Adriana...

2002-08-09T08:59:09Z

One of these days
When you figure, figure it all out
Well be sure to let me know
Well I'll be waiting right here
Come and whisper in my ear what it is I want to know

One of these days, gonna get into it way on over our heads
And you'll find that there's no place to hide
But if you fight and if you fail, don't fall back into yourself
You can fall back on me

One of these days
When you figure it, figure it all out
Put your lips against my ear
Tell me it all
Or tell me just a little bit, you know
You know it's what I wanna hear

One of these days
When you figure, figure it all out
Well be sure to let me know
Well I'll be waiting right here
Come and whisper in my ear what it is I wanna know

One of these days
When you figure, figure it all out
Put your lips against my ear
Tell me it all,
Or tell me just a little bit, you know
You know it's what I wanna hear...

-Camper Van Beethoven

I just had to tell someone...

2002-07-20T10:15:32Z

It sounds so silly and High-School, that I'd just as soon NOT tell the story of how we met. So I'll skip that for now, and jump to the "date". We spent six hours together last night, and they really felt like maybe only one. And all we were doing was talking, discovering how much we are of the same mind. I've never experienced anything like it before. It was *exactly* like old friends catching up with each other after many years apart, and *nothing* at all like two strangers learning each other's names for the first time. It's incredible, amazing, and scary as hell. We both agreed that we had better not fuck this up. Which is why we didn't end up having freaky monkey sex, though we both want to. Badly. Yes, with each other, you fools.

Did I mention, she's also beautiful? Not in the boring supermodel way, she's actually built like a *woman*-- fun to roll around with, and no need to worry about snapping those insect-limb-like things a starved woman uses for arms and legs. Her eyes? Persian poets came close many hundreds of years ago in describing them, but her eyes are even more intoxicating than that. I could (and did) get lost in them. Nothing said out loud, everything understood. I'll spare y'all of the rest, except to say she has this cutest little dimple when she smiles. As do I, I'm told.

There's a slight age difference, (She'll be 24 in August), but neither of us has a problem with that.

We discussed music, movies (We both have great taste in films, and at one point debated whether it was the plane crash or the car crash in "Fight Club" that *sounds* better), religion (we're in the same place, spiritually speaking), sex (not directly, it was more along the lines of "Should we be doing this?" "I don't think so" "Me either" "Don't stop"), politics (YaY Ralph!), music, sports (slight hitch there- she likes wrestling, so I'll have to open up to that guilty pleasure of mine and start watching it openly. In return, I think she's willing to learn to play some pool...), ethnicity (not a big deal to us), drugs (Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt), books (made plans to visit a good bookstore the next time we meet, [If you knew the percentage of folks around here that have never finished reading a single work of fiction, yer jaw would drop.] so we can buy each other a big stack of "must-reads" [True geekdom, the perfect second date.]), fashion (black nail-polish as an aphrodisiac), and music.

[I just re-read this-- jeez, how's THAT for a fucking long sentence?]

Some bad timing, she's now out of town until Sunday night, but we're busy running up catastrophic phone bills in the meantime.

And one more thing-- Until a couple of months ago, she had very long hair. Now it's fairly short (black w/ bright red highlights)-- And there's a chemo patient or two out there who's gonna get a free wig.

My friends, I feel better than James Brown.

The funny thing is...

2002-05-01T10:03:59Z

...I was thinking of this one skanky beer smurf fairy the while time, and I STILL have that song stuck in my head!

``

I met the most stunningly beautiful woman I have
talked to in a LONG time today. At work, dammit. We're talking
movie-star stuff here. She should steal a scene just by lighting a
cigarette. It was all I could do to keep my jaw from hanging when I saw
her. Taller than me by a few inches, NOT too fucking skinny, amazing
long red/blonde/black hair, no makeup, skin like coffee w/ lotsa cream
in it. She was wearing this gauzy black top, a light short tan skirt,
and white sandals that sorta worked their way up to her knees, what with
all the straps.

She had one foot up at roughly waist level, propped on the counter and
adjusting a sandal strap, when she asked me for help finding a CD. !!!
Alas and fuck, I knew we didn't have it, and told her... Skip ahead a
few minutes, and I work up the nerve to go over and offer to help her
find some tunes. I did.

Some people think a hug looks like an "A", I got the full "I"
version. And she's gonna come by work again today, so I can help her
find some more music she can dance to at work... For the record, I set
her up with Crazy Town, and Queen's Greatest Hits. She was very clear
that she didn't give a fuck what the crowd thought about the tunes, they
wouldn't be listening anyways... So, I have some free lapdances coming
my way, if I ever make it over there ;-)

Jeez, I need a girlfriend, right?

m^5

GRRR!

2002-04-25T04:37:40Z

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Gads...
Date: Wed, 24 Apr 2002 23:10:01 -0500
From: Nhanyanyja Thuthunha Jumangku <mtothe5th@yahoo.com>
To: John Corbitt <johncorbitt@hotmail.com>
CC: Patricia Fisher <xxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Overreact much?

So I got this forwarded email from my mother, now I'm going
to reply
line-by-freakin'-line, okay?

~
Patty, This is serious. If I don't get a reply in 24 hours,
and Matt doesn't
formally and publicly try to repair the damage he has
done, I will take
legal and civil action against him.
~

Okay, first of all, I DIDN'T SEND YOU ANY MAIL! Got that?
Good. I
also didn't sign you up for any subscriptions, got that?

What I did do, is make fun of your freaking out. And yes, I
did the
wink and nudge thing when I posted on the SDMB-- I was
hoping folks
there would enjoy the story. If you have viewed the entire
thread
there, you will be aware that it was closed by an
administrator shortly
after my SECOND post. Here is is, in case you missed it:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2021018#post2021018

~
He's an adult. It's time he realized he isn't immune to the
results of his
actions.
~

I took credit for a minor act of harassment, and I seem to
have stepped
on your balls in the process. I regret this.

~
I'm sorry that this situation has come up, but I didn't
create it. He did,
and he's admitted it in print. He claims to be so superior,
so much smarter
than anyone else ... especially stupid me. I sent you the
message he posted.
~

I did not admit it. I implied it-- see the difference? And
where did
this whole superior, smarter, stupid thing come from? I
actually
thought of you as one of the folks around here who really
had a clue.
Until this.

~
It's time to pay the piper, privately or publicly. I don't
want your dad
and friends to read about what a jerk your son is, but it
will come to that
if he doesn't try to make it right.
~

If you mean that you expect the Monitor to print some sort
of editorial
rant, I can't wait. I vote for publicity.

~
I imagined evil big business ... it never occurred to me
that
I knew someone
who was that twisted and evil.
~

Cool. I never knew that I was "twisted and evil." If some
extra mail
is as close as you have come to "twisted and evil", you
should be very
thankful. It's called perspective-- get some, okay?

~
Tell him to fix this mess and prove to me that he has done
so, and I'll drop
it. Otherwise, people are going to be hurt, and I'm sorry,
but I didn't
start this.
~

I didn't start it, so why should I fix it? You COULD just
write
"cancel" on the invoices like everyone else does, but maybe
that's too
much for you... Lemmie see. It might take up to a minute
to do that on
each invoice, times (what? 10? 20?) let us say 15... Oh,
and stamps.
Can't forget those. So you are out maybe $20~30, if your
personal time
is worth $60 an hour. Yep, sue me for $30 and lose...

Sorry, I was going to be civil, but around here you start
ranting,
making threats, and generally pissing me off. Exactly who
is going to
be hurt? Besides your making an ass of yourself, I mean.

~
And, since I've gotten the very real feeling that he has a
violent streak,
warn him against anything like that. I'm better trained than
he is and I'd
hate for it to come to that.
~

Dude, when I get mad, I send email. That's how violent I
am. Stop
posing.

~
I think you should get him professional psychological help.
This is not
adult behavior.
~

Neither is your response. Put that glass down, sober up for
a bit, and
maybe then we might chat like rational adults.

~
Oh, in case he lost count, add Coastal Living to that list
of magazines that
think I've requested a subscription.
~

I didn't even know "Coastal Living" existed until now.
Giving me the
benefit of a doubt, can't you see that if I WAS going to do
such a
thing, I would have set you up with tons of NAMBLA shit?

~
I expect a phone call confirming Matt's concessions. Let's
not make this
more public.
~

Again, why should I apologize for something I did not do? I
mocked
you. Fine. You work in media, you should be able to handle
critics by
now. If you feel like retracting some of your more
offensive
statements, feel free... I don't expect a call, but here's
my number
anyways: (956)343-8183.

Now, would you kindly BACK OFF?

~
Sincerely,
John M. Corbitt
~

Annoyed,
Matthew P. Fisher

Very Bad News:

2002-04-09T09:47:02Z

So I had a very good friend when I was growing up. I won't say his name, because, frankly, it's none of your business. Maybe Shawna remembers him.

His parents were found dead in their home this weekend. It's an awful story, and I think I'm in shock.

They were sorta like my "other set of parents"... As far as I can recall (I'm a bit hazy right now), I spent more time in their home than in any other but my own for at least five years while I was growing up. After he moved back from Japan, we sorta parted ways-- I dropped out of school the same year he was elected class president.

I'm gonna send a copy of this to my mom and dad. As I recall, they were all friends too...

This is just awful. I wish I could do something.

God, I'd never have known, except I was following the Tattered Cover court case, and happened to click on the wrong link.

Fucking Boulder. I am not ONE bit surprised about the didgeridoo.

Typical FUCKING Boulder...

http://www.thedailycamera.com/news/boulder/09lmdr.html

mtothe5th @ 2002-02-19T02:28:00

2002-02-19T08:28:55Z

Have I mentioned lately how awesome Paula is?

Just checking...

I wanna move to the VI

2002-02-19T08:16:18Z

So now I'm listening to back+forth voulme 5.

I'm reminded of (insert drum roll here):

One of the most incredible days in my life.. I was working at McD's at the time, and one of my many roommates shows up with tickets to see Skinny Puppy that night. What can I say... I went, and it changed me forever. I was in bad shape at the time, and I got worse before I got it togetherish. Is that a word?

Anyways, ten years later, I doubt he even listens to them anymore, and so much of my life was affected by that night. Sorry I stole and smoked all yer pot that one time, man...

I hope he gets this.

Another one:

2002-02-19T07:13:03Z

I love this cd...

When I Win the Lottery

Well I lost an eye in Mexico
Lost two teeth where I don't know
People see me comin' and they move to the other side of the road

I robbed a liquor store or two
Made myself at home a few times
Borrowed myself a car when I needed it

I got me a shack at the bottom of the road
Fixin' cars and givin' tows
Spend all my money on the lottery

When I win the lottery gonna buy all girls on my block
A color TV and a bottle of French perfume
When I win the lottery gonna donate half my money to the city
So they have to name a street or a school or a park after me
When I win the lottery

Never run a flag up a pole
Like Mr. Red, White, and Blue down the road
But I never called myself a hero for killing a known communist

Now I can walk into any old bar
Find a fight without looking too hard
But I never killed someone I don't know just 'cause someone told me to

And when I win the lottery
Gonna buy the house next to Mr. Red, White and Blue
And when I win the lottery
Gonna buy Post 306 American Legion, paint it red with five gold stars
When I win the lottery

When the end comes to this old world
The rights will cry and the rest will curl up
And God won't take the time to sort your ashes from mine

'Cause we zig and zag between good and bad
Stumble and fall on right and wrong
'Cause the tumbling dice and the luck of the draw just leads us on

And when I win the lottery, gonna buy all the girls on my block
Silver-plated six shooters and a quart of the finest highland scotch

'Cause when I win the lottery, the rights will shake their heads and say that
God is good but surely works in mysterious ways

When I win the lottery

mtothe5th @ 2002-02-19T01:00:00

2002-02-19T07:00:51Z

A speech:

A song:

That is all.

Well, shit.

2002-02-13T04:34:49Z

A note from Ed Zotti and the Reader staff:
Tuesday, February 12, 2002
The Straight Dope Message Board is down for unscheduled maintenance due to unauthorized outside interference, meaning some dirtball hacked us. We don't think SDMB user passwords were stolen but we can't guarantee it. If you have been using the same password to protect your Swiss bank account we would change it pronto if we were you.
We are taking this opportunity to upgrade the message board software so it's going to take a little while to get things running again. At this point we are figuring on Monday, February 18. Jerry says he'll try for Friday but he's just a man, not a machine. In the meantime, talk to the SO, watch the Olympics, do all that stuff normal people do. The SDMB will be back soon enough. -- Ed Zotti
Thanking all of you for your continued patience and good will in what is a difficult situation --
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
Straight Dope Message Board

mtothe5th @ 2002-02-08T04:17:00

2002-02-08T10:17:15Z

Mungo City, where are you?
You make us gray when skies are blue
Mungo City, in the sky
Keeps a watchful eye on you tonight

/me dances around like a rawk star

mtothe5th @ 2002-02-08T01:15:00

2002-02-08T07:14:56Z

Well, that worked...

Let's see if I can reboot and get this modem working with a different OS.

mtothe5th @ 2002-02-08T01:12:00

2002-02-08T07:12:09Z

This is only a test.

Llama!

2002-02-05T05:47:24Z

Yay!

/me gets fun mail.

With stickers on it!

MWAH!

Thanks, paula. You made my day.

mtothe5th @ 2002-02-04T22:00:00

2002-02-05T04:01:24Z

Oop ack!

mtothe5th @ 2002-01-29T22:04:00

2002-01-30T04:03:17Z

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_17282.asp

Vegemite Day!

2002-01-28T09:55:13Z

Hattpy Burpday, Smurf!

;=)

"I'll just put this here..."-- Justin Case

2002-01-23T05:16:39Z

So.

Sitting @ home gets boring. I met the mom unit for dinner tonight, and
all was good. Remember where I live? It's a psuedo-retirement park kinda
place. Driving up, we were stopped by a few old men, a golf cart, dog, and
traffic cones. They made us stop. Seems that a few old folks think we
need a neighborhood watch. Good for them. After all, 8:30pm is when MOST
of the crooks drop by to break in. Assholes.

Got home, and we're still a bit mad and confused. Did something really
stupid, we walked back up to the gate to find out the deal. Just when the
conversation was getting really interesting, this big truck drives up. I'm
really mad at this point, and after the asshole w/ the gun (did I mention
that?) waves them through, I stand in front of their truck.

Yes, It was a stupid thing to do, I know this. You hadda be there,
k? My MOM was there, I hadda back her up.

I get gently nudged by the truck. The owner yells at me. I dial
911. I get shoved by the truck again. This is when I start pounding on
his hood. Before, he was just cranky-- now he's PISSED OFF. Me, I'm on
the cellphone, and after he jumps out of the cab, I just hand him the
phone, saying "Here's the guy who just tried to run me ov--"

I feel so sorry for his wife, she just sat in the truck the whole
time. By now, there was a small crowd, and the cop cars started pulling
up. 3 of them. I think I've seen this on "Cops". Aww shit. I step
aside with one sheriff, and we speak for a bit. This is after they disarm
the guy (ex-cop, dontya know) with the handgun.

Here's the deal: They could arrest one person for assault, one for
obstructing a roadway, one for p.i., and a few others just because... I
gotta be in court a week from now, and I just don't NEED any more trouble
at this point. I wimp out. Totally. If I press charges for poking me
with his great big truck replacement for his little tiny non-functioning
dick, I have to explain what I was doing in front of it in the first
place. (breaking the law, a couple of 'em in fact...)

Truck-owner just didn't like me; even after it was all calm, he wouldn't
hear my sincereish apology for hitting his truck, or my regret that they
(not him so much, as his wife [I'd send her flowers, if I though I could
get away with it]), got caught up in this to begin with. Gun-prick is a
different story. He has a concealed-carry permit. Which means (in Texas)
you can, in fact, walk around with a loaded pistol in yer silly golf
shorts. My mother, in this amazing moment of pure clarity and genius,
asked out loud, right before the 3 DPS cars arrived, "Does anyone here have
a gun right now?"

Remember this: It's not a concealed weapon if you brag about it. Oops
for him. If you say "I have a carry permit, and the gun is in my pocket"
to anyone, it's NOT concealed any longer, and just the same as waving it
around with the safety off. Sorry about yer love life, big guy. Really.
Sometimes, I just love having the cops around, even if I might be about to
go to jail.

So everything's over for the night, I think. The mom unit's been on the
phone contacting a few folks, and it seems so far that this whole "watch"
thing was something that just sorta dragged it's way out of someone's
ass... Debbie called, as we were walking away from the mess, asked me if
I wanted to go over to the local bar for some pool and such. I dunno. I'm
now honestly afraid that a hispanic woman in her 20's or 30's driving a
junker car might in fact get shot if she drove in here after midnight.

And that's no way to live.

m^5

P.S. I was willing to let the truck run over me. I think part of me was
hoping it would. I'm not sure what that means yet.

mtothe5th @ 2002-01-07T01:14:00

2002-01-07T07:11:38Z

I'm okayish.

Big hugs for Twenty-three plus three:

Thanks for the card, babe. It made my day when I got it, and again when I got home and read it again...

O: Close yer eyes and snuggle w/ Tasha on those cold nights, and send Jake a warm hug from me, just because, okay?

Everyone: I am so close to being a junkie. If anyone knocked on the wall right now and waved some narcotics at me, I'd roll up my sleeves and point at my clean veins... ARGH.

Instead, since I got home, I get pills. I'm careful with them, but I must admit that I'm enjoying what I can get. It's just like being dead. Not in a bad way, more like not having to ever worry about anything, and it will all be okay...

I know this is not gonna work for me-- I'm working on it. If I end up washing up under the Progresso bridge, it's 'cause I went for those poppy goo compounds-- (grunt)

I went to Mexico today. I did not get searched on the way back... Cool ;-)

Took a while to type this, doubt I'll check it, thanks for the vegemite, love you all...

m^5

Quick update...

2001-12-20T19:52:46Z

I've been real sick for the last few months, and I hadn't even realized it until just recently. I've been in and out of the hospital since the 8th. Mostly in. Seems I had an abcess in my large intestine that finally popped. Like having yer appendix rupture, except more of a mess.

Today's the first day since surgery that we haven't bypassed my whole digestive system, but so far, nothings happening yet. Argh.

I'm gonna have an awesome scar, though. Straight line down from the middle of my rib cage to my bits, 21 staples. My doctor took out about eight inches of scar tissue and intestine. And my appendix, just for the fuck of it... We were just adding up how much morphine I've had, it's something like WAY too much ;-)

If I don't take a leak in the next four hours, I'll be going back on the foley. Yuck.

mtothe5th @ 2001-11-30T02:08:00

2001-11-30T08:06:42Z

Gemini: (May 21?June 21)
Your view of history as a nightmare from which you are trying to escape seems awfully pretentious, as no one will remember you five minutes from now.

Argh

2001-11-21T08:09:25Z

Using da laptop... I hate da laptop.

Ever had a system so unstable that it keeps crashing while you try to reinstall the OS?

BLARGH!